Saturday, December 26, 2009

All good things, they never last.

The time has come for me to give up this blog. It doesn't help me anymore. I have three drafts I never could finish, and six pretty recent posts with no comments, which is my fault. I can't find the words. I can't find the words to inspire anyone, to make anyone care, or to make myself feel better. Perhaps I shall make a new blog someday, in which case I will be sure to look you guys up again. But this blog has run its course and served its purpose. So now I must say goodbye to it and goodbye to all of you. For any who care, I am going to get a large dry erase board and hang it in my room, and use that to write my list of 100 things to do before I die, and then I'm going to do it. That is going to be my outlet instead of this. I wish the best to all of you with everything you do, and remember to take care of yourselves. You guys deserve the world.


All Good Things~~ Count The Stars

This air is contagious,
no one can save us,
nothing this good could ever last,
tonight is a drug,
that I won’t give up,
this is my favorite addiction
the summer comes to a close,
and no one knows what we know,
no one knows
I can’t explain,
what made me stay,
I fall into the same mistakes,
like all good things,
they never last,
the past is past
I’d rather be drowning,
than swimming away,
that’s something that will never change,
I swallow regret,
and I hope for the best,
if this is all that i can do
The summer comes to a close,
and no one knows what we know,
no one knowsI can’t explain,
what made me stay,
I fall into the same mistakes,
like all good things,
they never last,
the past is past
This is why I never try,
to make it seem we shouldn’t leave,
this is why I never try
I never try
This air is contagious,
no one can save us,
but I wait
I must confess,
I’m not impressed,
there’s nothing worse than losing you,
I must confess,
I’m not the same like all good things
All good things
All good things
All good things
I must confess,
I’m not impressed,
there’s nothing worse than losing you
I must confess,
I’m not the same,
there’s nothing worse than losing you
than losing you
I'm losing you
I'm losing you

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Secret time!!

-I still think about T.G., every single day.
-I love turning music on so loud that I can feel the bass in my chest.
-I don't think I'm pretty, even though people tell me I am.
-In 9th grade, I kissed a girl, but I am definitely not gay or bi.
-I like wearing dresses, doing my hair and make up, and getting all prettied up even if I have no where to do.
-In 7th grade, one of my friends, a guy I liked, shot himself and died.
-In 9th grade, when my parents found out I cut myself, I lied and told them I was just doing it to get attention from T.G. They believed me.
-I use way too many smiley faces while talking online or texting a friend, not because I'm actually happy, but because I'm trying to cheer myself up.
-I think my friends secretly hate me.
-I want to stop cutting, but I don't know how else to get rid of the feeling.
-Every day, I wish I had the guts to press down harder.
-It's been years since I actually, honest to God cared about anything.
-Today, I used a razor blade to cut in the first time in what I believe is a year, at least.
-I just made three cuts on my leg, two very small ones running one way, and a longer one running the opposite way. I just realized it looks like a =/ smiley, sticking it's tongue out(the blood)